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2 visible archived posts · 2 preserved total · topic ID 4732
Vince
#2An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?"
The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."
The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good."
The elderly gentleman said, "That's alright. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to their male patients?
A: To keep them from rolling out of bed.
An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her Husband's sex drive. 'What about trying Viagra?' asks the doctor.
'Not a chance' says Mrs. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a headache."
'No problem,' replies the doctor. 'Drop it into his coffee, he won't even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how it worked.'
A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how things went. 'Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor.'
'What happened?' asks the doctor.
'Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible.'
'What was terrible?' said the doctor, 'was the sex not good?'
"Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years, but I'll never be able to show my face in McDonald's again.
--Vince
The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."
The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good."
The elderly gentleman said, "That's alright. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to their male patients?
A: To keep them from rolling out of bed.
An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her Husband's sex drive. 'What about trying Viagra?' asks the doctor.
'Not a chance' says Mrs. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a headache."
'No problem,' replies the doctor. 'Drop it into his coffee, he won't even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how it worked.'
A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how things went. 'Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor.'
'What happened?' asks the doctor.
'Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible.'
'What was terrible?' said the doctor, 'was the sex not good?'
"Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years, but I'll never be able to show my face in McDonald's again.
--Vince